Lyrics

Honey, let's put down the dog
Well, its stopped drinking
And I'm thinking that we won't have very long
Until he can't run round the garden anymore

With legs so sore this life's a bore
Let's not put Fido through it anymore
You know it's the kindest thing to do
Our boy's in pain and there he'll stay

Unless we let him out the easy way
And I don't like this any more than you
but you know that the words I say are true
Honey, let's put down the dog

Well, look, it's love, it's love
The greatest act of love
The one living creature can do for another one
It's fine, it's clearly just his time

Lets take him round the garden once more
Before I do, I do what must be done
Can you hold my shaking hand while I
Load this shotgun up

Oh, this is gonna suck
Don't be contrite, it's right, just trust me on this
Honey, let's put down the dog
Well, its stopped drinking

And I'm thinking that we won't have very long
Until he can't run round the garden anymore
With legs so sore this life's a bore
Let's not put Fido through it anymore

You know it's the kindest thing to do
Our boy's in pain and there he'll stay
Unless we let him down the easy way
And I might like this a little more than you

But you know that the words I say are true
Honey, let's put down the dog
Well, I guess if you're right, more reasons would be nice
I've got a list as long as that mutts layered with lice

First, he is so imprecise
Been pissing on my Persian's, curtains and what's more
He has not given the postman a single moment of slack
That dog chased him off on my monthly Cosmo back

Look, I'm sure you get the point
This isn't spite, it's right, let me light my sights
Honey, let's put down the dog
Well, its stopped drinking

And I'm thinking that we won't have very long
Until he can't run round the garden anymore
With legs so sore this life's a bore
Look, at least he won't trample on my orchids anymore

You know it's the kindest thing to do
Our boy's in pain and there he'll stay
Look, a little cyanide would make the howling go away
I might like this a fair bit more than you

But you know that the words I say are true
Honey, let's put down the dog

Honey, let's put down the dog
We'll throw a wake of, goodness sake

To show our boy he was so good and very loved
We'll sing his favourite song
We'll throw a frisbee round
Until the sun comes down

It was worth it, all deserved it
For our best friend
With all that said
Honey, please, that dog's not dead

Honey, let me kill the dog

Honey, let me kill the dog
So I've been poisoning his water
If he had a brain, he'd see the chocolate all the same

Won't run round the garden anymore
Well, I'll break his legs, better off dead
Look, at least he won't shit on my Persian rugs again
You know it's the kindest thing to do

Well, I'll sleep at night, I'll sleep alright
Without fighting a canine for sheets every night
I might like this a whole lot more than you
But you know that the words I say are true

Honey, let me kill the
I can't stand the
Let me kill the dog